Faith, Hope, and Love

Sometimes it feels like life is getting more difficult each season. However, one thing this year has taught me is that I can trust God. The more I trust Him, the easier life begins to feel. It's like I've been saying quite often this year, my circumstances aren't always getting better. And some have gotten worse. But my heart is full of faith, hope, and love. Honestly, I sometimes wish I could share this with everyone I know. It just isn't how this works. God put me on a specific path and taught me specific lessons that brought me to where I am today. Perhaps that path will someday be one where He gives me the words to say and actions to do in order to help share this faith, hope, and love with others. Again, I need to trust God with the timing for all I can share with others. It's His Story to be told. I realize it has never been about me...hehehe Maybe we all need to go through trying circumstances to draw them closer to God too...hehehe

One thing on my heart that prompted the above paragraph is the election results from yesterday. None of it is really a surprise to me. I avoided social media for the most part yesterday. And I've been avoiding it mostly again today. The few posts I have seen between these few days are a reminder just how divided people are right now. My heart aches for the people on both sides. I see pain, hurt, and anxiety on both sides. I also see a lot of pride...the sinful kind. All will work out. It always does. God is the one in control, after all. If only I could share the hope I have with those who are struggling with this. And it'd be great to share love with those who were happy this morning so they can be kind to those who are struggling. Although the thought this too shall pass comes to mind, that really isn't how I feel today. I feel more like trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

On this day in 1860, Lincoln was elected president. A month later, and before he took office, South Carolina seceded. All because Lincoln was elected...LOL A few months later, the American Civil War began. So, I'd say the nation isn't quite as divided as it once was...hehehe Nonetheless, people are hurting today. And I'm praying for them all.

I had another call with Pastor Doug today. Today's was a follow up to our last conversation about the Miracle Question: If the miracle happened while you are asleep and you woke up the next morning, how would you know the miracle took place? My miracle was related to going back to physical church or doing virtual church for the foreseeable future. The answer to that question for my situation was that I would desire to return to physical church; which is what happened. A few weeks ago, the desire came to my heart to return physically to church. And I'll be going to that satellite church for theChapel the week after I get back from California.

He asked me a yes or no question that stood out. And he didn't ask for any further explanation. Just a simple yes or no. The question was whether or not I know what triggers I might expect when I return to church. My answer is yes. I do believe I know what triggers I'm expecting to face. The question came off the heals of my statement that one reason I desire to go back is that I want to face my reasons for leaving. Just like I faced my past these last few years, it's time to face my struggles with today's church. I know what I struggle with and I know I'll be facing it all again. Leaving was only treating the symptoms of my struggles. I'm ready to treat the problem...meeeeeee...LOL Yes, in Budford's voice...LOL Yes, the church has problems too. But I can't be part of God's solutions if I'm part of the problem...LOL

He encouraged me about facing those triggers. He mentioned that it is possible I'd have to step back again for a period of time. He encouraged me that it is okay to have those setbacks. But it is also okay if they don't happen. It really all depends on how I handle the triggers. So, although I somewhat know what I'll face, I have yet to know how I may respond. I am confident it will go well. But I don't want to ignore the fact that I am weak as well. My strength comes from God. I need to allow this process to draw me closer to Him.

This topic is also related to my opening paragraph. Church weighs heavy on my heart. We are made for community. We are made to be in fellowship. We are all imperfect, living in an imperfect world, imperfectly following a perfect God...LOL I'm ready to get back. God has prepared my heart for this. I've got this because He's got me. Something I often say to others...I now say to myself...hehehe

It feels a little funny to journal about journaling...but here we goooooo! LOL Yes, in Disney's Peter Pan voice...LOL I started journaling again mid-to-late last year, privately. Then I took my journaling here in this blog. I also journal more personally and privately with my devotionals and Bible study notes I share only with Cherie. Lately, I feel like I'd like to add another journal that is truly private. Something only God and I can read. I don't have any deep dark secrets to talk about. But I do have things on my heart that I only pray about. I love to write. And writing helps me process my thoughts. But some of my prayers never get written. Some of my thoughts never get written. I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to write them down someplace that doesn't really go anywhere?

Pastor Doug talked about journaling. I mentioned I do journal now and mentioned this blog and my journals I share only with Cherie. But I did mention this thought about adding another journal. I explained to him why I stopped journaling between 2009 and that time I started up again last year. For 14 years, I didn't write a journal. But prior to that, I journaled all the time like I do now.

My first divorce is what stopped me. Before I was asked for them, I destroyed my journals. But the opposing counsel requested all of my journals in hopes that they would be able to use them against me in the divorce. God protected me from that by granting me forethought in destroying them...hehehe Again, I never have anything dark to write about. But people have a way of taking words and twisting them to serve their agendas. What happened back then left me thinking I should never write again. Fast forward to last year when I finally faced that and other traumas from my past. I realized I was allowing my experiences to control me rather than my taking control of how I respond to my experiences. Hence, I journal quite often now...hehehe A the truth will set you free sort of thing. The truth is, God gave me a good heart. There isn't anything but Light in there. Nothing I write can actually be used against me in some twisted way...LOL Any sane person wouldn't be able to twist my words. And any crazy person wouldn't be credible enough for anyone to listen to if they tried...LOL

There are so many ways I can journal privately. I guess I just need to chose what might work best for me. I just need to start. It can evolve and change over time. It won't be anything formal or anything anyway. And perhaps I don't have to chose just one way? Perhaps the medium can change based on what I'm writing about? Sometimes handwritten? Other times, typed? I imagine there will also be times when I type or handwrite and then delete or destroy what is written.

There were a few things I forgot to mention yesterday from my day at Disneyland Resort.

The entire day, from 7:15am until about 11pm, I only saw one person who wasn’t happy about something. ONE! And they weren’t being rude about it. They were genuinely asking the Cast why something was the way it was and explained why they were confused and a little upset. It was an adult argument and not an adult being childish. Again, they were the only one I saw that wasn't happy. At Walt Disney World Resort, I can't usually go 10 minutes without seeing someone unhappy. And at least once an hour, there is someone so upset they are arguing and shouting. It's insane to me how easily adults can lose control of themselves in public...let alone at a family theme park! DLR is definitely more my vibe...hehehe

Also, I was in line for Snow White and there was this baby that took a liking to me. It was fun making faces at him and playing peekaboo. I believe he was less than one year old. I was grateful that his family enjoyed the interaction as well. I'm sure it helped that I was dressed dapper...hehehe I'm sure my attire and smile were disarming for those folks. But there again, DLR has a different vibe altogether. Everyone seems so friendly; guests and Cast alike...hehehe

I'm really looking forward to my Disney Day with Cherie on Friday. She'll get to be there for quite a while this time. I'm so excited!!! With our matching attire, we'll be the talk of the land...LOL We will start and end our day at DCA. We'll hop over to DL too. We'll try for the Haunted Mansion virtual queue at noon.

We can't do the morning round because we are starting in DCA. Even if we reserved DL and tried for the morning queue, there is the risk she wouldn't arrive before our group is called. When I did the virtual queue Sunday, I was in group 8. My group was called shortly after opening and I only had until about 9:05am to do it. I have no idea if they are flexible with that like WDW is for their virtual queues. Since I don't come here often, I didn't care to test that out...LOL

For food that day, it will be sort of a graze. We'll eat little bits throughout the day. I'll probably eat a little more as my body type needs more fuel than hers does. I can get a little more than she does each time we stop for food. But we don't plan on doing any sit down meals. If the need arises for me to eat a meal, I'll be sure to do so. But I actually prefer to graze. That's one of the benefits of the festivals at EPCOT for me. I can eat little bits through my tour around the world...hehehe I only recently started doing sit down meals at WDW again. And it's only because there are so many restaurants I haven't tried yet due to the festival eats. And I had been going to WDW often the last few years. But I have found the quick bites at DLR are better than table service foods at WDW...LOL So, I'm still in for a real treat all day Friday ❤️ I want to eat a corn dog...hehehe And I plan to get another churro! I'd buy another day at Disneyland or DCA just to have a churro on Saturday before I leave Sunday...LOL j/k

I've now worked two days from California, but on eastern time. I was super productive both days and I love the timing. Starting work at 5pm and being done by 2pm really works for me...hehehe My food consumption was a little more balanced today. I imagine I could get use to this schedule...hehehe Of course, I'd have to move over here to the west side of the country...LOL I'm thinking about working 6am to 3pm tomorrow. That's 9am to 6pm eastern...or 8am to 5pm central...which is why I'm considering it. My new home office for the new company is on central time. The powers that be work 8-5 central. But I'm not sure it matters if I do that tomorrow since it is my last work day this week. If I do a work week here again in the future, I can give that a try that week.

Tomorrow night, I plan to stay up later than I have for workdays. Like I did Sunday, I'd like to do as long a day as possible at Disneyland Resort. In order to do so, I'd like to sleep in a little on Friday. Getting up at 4:30am doesn't make sense because I won't need to be to Disney until about 7:30 or 8am anyway. No use in getting up super early...LOL

It has been super windy today. I learned some new things about weather as a result. For example, there is something called Santa Ana Winds; which is what I experienced today. They remind me of the hurricane winds I've experienced in Florida. I walked in it a bit today and those gusts are super powerful! Per the weather folks I follow, they are caused by an area of high pressure to the east of the mountains that pushes air over the mountains in a south-westerly direction and the air rushes down the mountains into the valley. Weather is amazing and something that must be respected! With the dry air and gushing winds, risk of fire increases to extremely dangerous levels. There are some fires going on now and making it so wildlife needs to evacuate. Those poor creatures...

I've not posted anything on social media about my time here yet. I will likely wait for a while. For all my other trips this year, I didn't post until 2 or 3 weeks later...hehehe This time, I want to wait simply because of the election. Well, now that I think about it, maybe this would be a great time to post...LOL With all the negativity out there this week, maybe I should be posting my positivity? I run the risk of toxic positivity, though. Does the world need me right now? Maybe not. What they really need is Jesus...LOL How can I be Jesus to the world this week?...hmmm