Holy Week, Anxiety Continued, and Hello New Rut!

Disney Dinner

I had a lovely dinner with my brother and his family last night. We went to Roundup Rodeo BBQ in Disney's Hollywood Studios. This Toy Story themed restaurant is so much fun! There are times when the toy soldiers radio in to tell us, the toys, that Andy is on his way...hehehe So everyone, Cast and guests both, freeze as if we are all toys from the movie...hehehe

The food is served family style. His family can eat quite a bit! So I'm glad I was there with them. The last time I went, it was just Katie and I. And neither of us ate all that much. So there was a lot of wasted food. We didn't waste much last night, though...LOL

As you probably guessed from the restaurant's name, the food is BBQ. It is all pretty good and worth the price based on Disney pricing. It's actually one of the cheaper table service meals. Especially for family style dining. The decor is all large cutout looking things as if it were from the boxes the toys came packaged in. It's like Andy created the restaurant as a play set in his bedroom...hehehe

Anxiety and Panic Attack

I'm going to preface this by saying that I am definitely okay. This was all just a few moments of intensity that I wasn't expecting. It happens to me. I've learned to cope...hehehe

My anxiety attack from Monday carried into my day on Tuesday. With that being my Disney day with my brother, I was hoping it would subside. It did not. By mid-afternoon, I felt a full on panic attack forming. I interrupted my brother to ask him to pray for me as I felt the panic bubbling up. We pulled off to the side of a large open area and he prayed for me. Panic attack averted!

The anxiety remained for the rest of the day until I was on my way home. The sermon from CCGS's Monday night service was such a warm hug that all of my anxiety left. I originally didn't want to write about this; hence why I didn't write about it yesterday...hehehe I didn't have any flare up yesterday. But I woke up with it again this morning. Albeit, a minor instance.

I'll admit, I've been dealing with this for years. I don't really worry about it much. And today is no different. I'm not...worried. I just want to get to the bottom of it, you know? What purpose does it serve in my life? Is there something I need to work through? Is there something physically wrong that is manifesting itself in anxiety? Is the anxiety manifesting itself into physical problems? All questions that I asked which don't really ease up the anxiety...hehehe

There isn't really anything going on in my life right now that I can point to and say, yeah, that's probably it. Perhaps it is a combination of things? Funny thing is, I really do feel like this is my best year ever. And that's piggy-backing off the most difficult year of my life...LOL

One thought I had today is whether or not it is related to some weather conditions we're having here in Florida. My body has always been directly affected by climate and weather conditions. Back in Indiana, I could tell you when it was going to rain almost to the minute and I could tell you what the temperature was going to be a week later without any fancy weather apps like we have today. Yes, that's a bit of hyperbole...hehehe But it was like I was a human weather detector.

It could also be diet changes. I went without meat for 4 months. About a month ago, I gradually started to reintroduce meat back into my diet. That hasn't gone well with me physically. I've already started to back off on that a bit this week. But I did have beef on Tuesday. Could that be related?

There are some personal events going on right now. But none of it really occupies my thoughts. Truthfully, I'm not worried at all about any of it. In fact, I have so much peace about it that I feel this is why I have the capacity in my mind to be able to focus on my walk with Christ so much this year. I hope I'm not ignoring some feelings, though. Have I been diving deep into my walk with Christ while ignoring some very human emotions?

As of tonight, I'm feeling really good. The anxiety is in a reprieve, at the moment. I'm grateful for all the prayers going up on my behalf. I feel them all!

Holy Week

Holy Week has been like a warm hug for me. Although I have attended church on Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, and Easter Sunday before, this is the first year I have attended church each day. By that I mean that I've been able to tune in live for the CCGS services this week, as I've previously talked about.

Just like my devotionals I've been working through, these services have been directly related to prayers I've had on my heart and mind lately. I know these sermons are applicable to most people. But it is as if God is speaking directly to me...hehehe

Like I mentioned yesterday (I believe), I think I'd like to go back and watch the sermons again next week and dissect the lessons and scripture. I want to dive deep into what all of the events of this week were and how they were meant to help establish the Christian faith. I've never truly done that before. I've heard these stories my whole life. Yet, I've never understood what most of it truly meant.

On Sunday, I expressed an opinion I've had for most of my life. I finally wrote it out because I wanted to personally challenge that opinion. I don't know who shares in my opinions or who completely disagrees with me. Regardless, my opinions are mine and mine alone. When I put one out there, I want to challenge it to see if it remains an opinion or if it something that is a fundamental belief I have.

Some opinions or beliefs don't really make an impact on who I am deep down. When it comes to the ones related to my faith in God, those are the ones which truly impact all of who I am. So, this is an important personal project of mine. God is providing some new insight through the events and services this week. Events being ones that are occurring to me personally in this actual week. I don't mean the events of the week 2k years ago...hehehe But the services this week, I'm definitely speaking of CCGS...hehehe

I find it absolutely amazing that God is answering prayers through a church 2k miles away about a life from 2k years ago!!!

Rut

I had been stuck in a rut of sorts leading up to these last few weeks. It wasn't exactly a matter of just going through the motions. It was more like a schedule that I had to keep and couldn't break away from it. I found it difficult to escape certain patterns in my schedule. I don't know if that makes any sense or not...hehehe But I found myself requiring an average 9 hours of sleep a day. That just seemed crazy!

In preparation for staying up for the CCGS services this week, I gradually worked my way up to staying awake until almost midnight must days. This week I have been staying up every day except Monday; as I had to be up early Tuesday. Well, now I'm averaging about 6 hours of sleep a day...LOL

I'd say I'm out of the rut I was in...hehehe Doing the math, I now have 3 more hours per day. When you add that up for the week, it's like having an entire extra day every week! And I feel fine every day. I don't feel tired whatsoever during the day. I haven't even been taking naps. My afternoon tea doesn't currently have any caffeine in it and I haven't added any extra portions of coffee. I've been getting all the rest I need and now I have all that extra time. I don't use an alarm. I just naturally wake up. Pretty cool, eh?

I've had to shift when I do different devotionals and Bible reading. I'm not getting up between 4 and 5am any longer. But it all works out since there is actually more time in my day now. I haven't filled that time with TV or anything like that either. I've actually been spending more time in prayer and writing. If anything, I've reduced my TV time even further...hehehe Good bye rut! Hello new rut? LOL