YOLO, New Old Things, Creativity, and Childlike Wonder

My you only live once attitude has become slowing down and focusing on what truly matters to me. I’m letting the world pass me by now. I don’t need to fill my life to find meaning. I need to fill my life with meaning.

The above was today's Vitamin G. I've talked about this numerous times recently. At least for this season of my life, I'm done with the world's definition of YOLO. I cannot talk about it enough or express enough just how freeing it has been to stop chasing after this world. Now that I'm traveling once again, I can go to places and simply enjoy each moment for the amazing thing that it is. It could be that I'll be doing some activity that everyone else is doing. But it could also just be me sitting on a bench watching the birds playing in a tree or a deer panting at a brook. I talk to others about what they'd like to do or where they'd like to go and I start dreaming about giving those things and places a try myself.

Even as I type this entry, I'm considering a weekend trip in a community a few hours south of me here in Florida...just to do it. While there, I may paint a painting, write a chapter of a book, or take photos. Perhaps all of that. Regardless of what such a weekend brings to my life, it will have meaning. Not because I was searching for it. I don't need these things to bring meaning to my life. I'll bring meaning to those things because I'll be doing what matters to me. This has taken a lot of pressure off what I'm doing with my life. It allows me to accept everything I have been given and be content regardless of my circumstances.

This same thing applies to a weekend like the one approaching. It will be a relaxing time at home. I have a few errands to run and a video call with my deer friend. All of which will have meaning because they are all things that matter to me. It isn't what the world would consider a lot. But it all means a lot to me. It will be just as meaningful as traveling some place else. Where I am, no matter where that is, I'll be in the happiest place on earth...Sorry, not sorry, Disneyland...hehehe

I'm in search of a new office chair for home. The one I had at the hotel in California was perfect. The one I have currently at home is torture...LOL Last weekend, I ventured out to look for a new one. I couldn't find one quite like the one from the hotel. That will be one of my errands this weekend. I'll go back out looking for one...hehehe

I think one of the things I'm going to do next year when I move is get all new everything...hehehe I did that when I moved to Florida. Some of what I have was given to me for free and not really things I would have chosen for myself. I lost everything from my previous life and I think people just felt sorry for me...hehehe This time around, I'm in a much better place physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. So I'll have a clear mind for what I want to surround myself with in my home and have the resources to afford new. Or new to me. I may end up looking for a collecting old stuff instead of brand new things. So new is relative to my owning it versus when it was brought into the world...hehehe

I'm not really into having new stuff. It is more of the feeling of being surrounded by things that aren't me. I'm happy and grateful for what I have. I just have an opportunity to start fresh next year when I move. Depending on where I move to, it may actually be cheaper to buy new stuff instead of ship things...hehehe Since I have no attachment to my stuff, this feels more like a why not opportunity...LOL

This is all just dreaming still, at this point. Although I'm likely to move next year, I still don't know where and I may end up keeping all of this stuff in the move. Like I said, I'm not into having new and it really isn't about having different. I'm just finally ready to be me for a change. In the meantime, I'm happy with what I have and where I am. I don't want to come across as being unsatisfied with what I have or where I am. I have exactly what I need and I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be today. As long as I remain grateful, there isn't anything wrong with me dreaming...hehehe

A quick update on my allergies...I'm now on day 4 without medication and I feel fine. I haven't gone this long without the medication in over 2 years. I'm feeling hopeful about this. It seems like the next natural phase of my physical health improvements. And in regard to that, my exercise and weight seem to continue to be stable. I've increased my food consumption a little this week as I've increased my physical activity while maintaining about the same weight. I've experienced some discomforting pain in my back and neck. But nothing bad. I think that is still related to my lack of comfortable seating...hehehe

I'm itching to get some painting projects going soon...hehehe I have 2 primed and almost ready to start. And I have another that I need to do some follow up on before it can begin. Plus I have an idea for a painting I want for myself. It's been a little while since my last painting. I would love to get a cadence going where I'm working on a painting at least monthly. Inspiration strikes far more often than I actually do them. I simply do not take the time...hehehe

Writing has been similar. It has be a bit since I've dedicated time to writing formally. I continue to journal frequently. I just haven't focused on any of the projects as of late. I think now that my schedule is stable, I can start to make time for all of these things.

Speaking of schedule, my new company's head office is in the central time zone. So I asked my boss if we were going to keep to the eastern time zone work schedule or move to central. Since the client (my old company) remains on eastern time, we will stick to that. I then asked him if there would be any objections to me working a central time schedule. He didn't see any issue with that. So I'm considering working 9am to 6pm in my time zone to match a 8am to 5pm schedule in central time. My motivation behind that is how my sleep schedule is from 1:30am to about 7:30am.

More on that...at the beginning of the week, I had indicated I had migrated to going to sleep at midnight once I got back from my trip. I also mentioned there was a chance I might go back to 1:30 by the end of the week. Well, yeah, I'm back to 1:30 already...LOL It would seem my body and mind really love that schedule. Hence my considering the shift in my work day...hehehe

As far as the rest of my creativity is concerned, I'd really like to finish setting up the other sections of my website. I have all of this content just sitting there waiting on me to do something with it. I don't want to publish it just for attention, though. I simply want to share it on my website for anyone who is interested in seeing it. I'm not even sure I'll talk much about it on my social media. It is more of a place to send people to when they ask. And if I publish any of it in physical media, those books will exist simply for people who like the tactile feel of having something in hand. I'm personally one who prefers that. Although I don't mind e-readers or reading on phone/tablet/computer, my preference is turning the pages of paper. Especially now that I can write on paper again...hehehe

The other day, I posted about how I'm really happy I can write on paper now. I've been improving my writing a little bit lately. It is still difficult sometimes. But I am able to write smaller now. Although it can still be messy, being able to write on paper again makes me happy. Besides the ability to do it now, it is also a symbol of my personal growth. It, like my physical appearance changes, shows how what God is doing on my inside is being reflected on my outside. In this particular case, it's the healing occurring in my brain. What I thought was a permanent disability is actually being reversed. At one time, I even took medication for it. The problem isn't completely gone now. But it is far more manageable than it has been since it began 25+ years ago.

This has been an incredible day. I really have no words that can possible express what the day was truly like. And that's okay. I could describe every moment in great detail. But unless you are me, you'll not understand how each moment feels. I'm just not good enough a writer to transfer my feelings in the way they need for you to know how incredible it was...hehehe Again, that's okay.

It was somewhat like one of those Spring mornings just before sunrise when there is a bit of a chill in the air. You are standing in a field of uncut grass with a forest in the horizon where the grass meets the sky. You can hear the song of the morning birds greeting the new day. Suddenly, the sun begins to rise over the far off trees. As the sun hits your face, you feel the warm hug that is the light kissing your cheeks. You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and thank the Lord for another day you get to experience His loving kindness.

I often wonder why it is I'm still so amazed every time I experience God when I have experienced Him so many times in my life. But then I quickly become grateful I still have the childlike wonder in my heart each time. I never want to stop being amazed. Although I want to continue to grow as a person and put childish ways behind me, I never want to lose that innocence of who God is as my Heavenly Father.