Appreciation, Love, and Slowing Down

It’s okay to chase after more. Just don’t forget to appreciate what you have in this moment. If you don’t appreciate what you have now, having more won’t make you happier 😏 Have a wonderful day 🤗❤️

Today’s Vitamin G comes from one of the deepest parts of my heart. Having an attitude of gratitude has been a life changing transformation in my heart these past few years. Being thankful for the moments I have as they happen has opened myself up for more than I expected. When I was grateful for what I had yesterday, it makes today that much more valuable. There is this concept of how we aren’t guaranteed to have each day. That does imply we should be thankful for everyday we are given. I want to take that further and embrace all that I have. The inspiration behind the Vitamin G wasn’t about material things. I literally mean everything. That thought was sparked by friendship. As God has been working in my heart concerning my loneliness, He has been helping me appreciate what I do have in my current relationships. As I desire to pursue more, I need to be grateful for what I have in this moment. After all, what I have in my friendships today hasn’t always existed. It’s okay for me to want more in those relationships. I just don’t want to lose sight of the value in what I have now. And as the relationships grow, the future value is built upon the value I can appreciate today. Today’s Vitamin G is definitely a soliloquy. I literally said those words to myself out loud. I then snapped my fingers in my right hand and said, that’s today’s Vitamin G!..LOL

I wasn’t thinking about this because I was sad or had forgotten to be grateful. It was more of a reminder of how I got to where am today. My loneliness isn’t bringing me sadness in this moment. And there is a good chance I’m not actually lonely today? This week has brought celebration, actually. Especially in my friendship with Chérie. And that celebration has been a beautiful reminder of what I have in all my relationships. More so than that, I’m also reminded of how I need to be the friend I desire to have. I need to be a friend to have a friend. Not in a transactional way. In a relational way. It’s about loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. And then loving others as myself. I do not expect my friends to reciprocate my love for them. Expectation of that kind isn’t really love for them anyway. Agape love is the unconditional outpouring of kindness, respect, and appreciation for them because God loves them. When it is returned to me in kind, great. When it isn’t returned, great. Both are great because it isn’t about me. It’s about God and them. God will provide the friends I need just as He provides me for them. True love, and therefore true friendship, is found in 1 Corinthians 13. It is often quoted at weddings to speak towards the love a wife and husband should have for on another. I believe it is the model by which I should live a life of love for everyone. As I draw and grow closer to God, He will draw and grow the relationships I should have with others closer to me. And as I cherish my relationship with God and my relationships with loved ones, my loneliness will dissolve into a distant memory.

1 Corinthians 13 AMP

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love [for others growing out of God’s love for me], then I have become only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal [just an annoying distraction]. And if I have the gift of prophecy [and speak a new message from God to the people], and understand all mysteries, and [possess] all knowledge; and if I have all [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love [reaching out to others], I am nothing. If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good at all. Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part [for our knowledge is fragmentary and incomplete]. But when that which is complete and perfect comes, that which is incomplete and partial will pass away. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now [in this time of imperfection] we see in a mirror dimly [a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma], but then [when the time of perfection comes we will see reality] face to face. Now I know in part [just in fragments], but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known [by God]. And now there remain: faith [abiding trust in God and His promises], hope [confident expectation of eternal salvation], love [unselfish love for others growing out of God’s love for me], these three [the choicest graces]; but the greatest of these is love.

I woke up anxious today. When my alarm went off at 6 am, I decided I should go back to sleep or at least rest for another hour. I laid there and my brain officially awoke at 7 am. As a result, I did not go through my entire morning routine today. I did, however, take the opportunity to work through my newest understanding of how to combat my anxiety. Pain 👉 Praise 👉 Prayer 👉 Peace. I took the pain (I get physical pain when I’m anxious) and turned it into praise and gratitude for all that Jesus has been doing in my life. The praise I turn into praying over the source of my anxiety (I don’t always know the source). The result of the prayers is His Peace poured over my anxious soul. Today’s anxiety seemingly came out of nowhere. I really do not know where it came from. I’m not going to allow myself to be overwhelmed trying to overthink or analyze what is going on for which may have caused it. It’s toxic for me to think it is what it is. But it’s also toxic for me to psychoanalyze beyond my own understanding. What isn’t toxic for me is to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding. But in all my ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make my path straight. The above Pain 👉 Praise 👉 Prayer 👉 Peace process God has been teaching me is working and is far greater than any progress I’m making with my anxiety. If it is His Will that I know the source, I will know it. If it is His Will that I endure it to draw closer to Him, then I’ll endure it.

All this God talk I keep doing, both here in my journal and in my conversations with my closest friends, has me thinking about how sometimes I feel like my head is in the clouds. I have to remind myself and encourage myself to remain grounded. The simply truth is, although God’s Kingdom lives within all of us as believers, I’m still physically living in the world. I need to remain grounded to my circumstances. My spirit can be elevated above it all. Yet my feet need to remain planted. I’m not quite living in God’s Kingdom yet…hehehe That being said, I’ve been slowing down my life. In general, life has been going by much more quickly than in the past. The world calls it progress. Everything seems to happen instantly. We are conditioned to expect things quickly these days. As amazing as Heaven sounds, I’m not in any hurry to get there. And I’m not in any hurry to get where my life is leading here on Earth. I’m turning my fear of missing out into a fear of missing the moment. I’ve never had ambition of any kind. Yet, I would still chase after things of this world to keep up with everyone else in some way. I didn’t want to miss opportunities to experience exciting things with other people. Sure, those things are all well and good. But I found myself missing out on the simple moments. Everything that truly matters to me was getting put off for another day. Another day rarely came. And most of what I chased after left me feeling underwhelmed with my life because they were mostly things not meant for me. I’m 46 now. I’m either right in the middle of my lifetime or already in the last half. I arrived here too quickly, if you ask me. I’m done being a somewhat passive observer of my life. I want to actively participate in what is meant for me here on Earth. And along the way, remain available to God for His Kingdom to come and His Will to be done.

Although I’ve lived the past 4 and half months feeling this way, it didn’t really bubble up to my thinker until Monday. As I was doing an evening walk around the pond, I sent a text to Olga (my neighbor across the breezeway) asking her how I might pray for her. She indicated she was doing fine and invited me over for a coffee. This was as I was finishing one of my laps. So instead of continuing my walk, I texted I’m on my way and went on back to my building and knocked on her door. We shared in drinking coffee and just shooting the breeze. We already knew we had many things in common. But that night we discovered many more. It was pretty clear God brought us into each other’s lives in this moment for a purpose. But what got me thinking about how I’ve enjoyed slowing down my life is how we reminisced about our past. There are so many things people really missed out on in life due to the world’s progress. Even my own siblings didn’t have the same opportunities I took advantage of in my earlier years. I was reminded of all of the amazing things I was exposed to. I’ve used a rotary phone, a manual typewriter, watched 8 mm films, operated an actual slide projector, learned how to drive a manual transmission (stick), and the list goes on. All of these things have been replaced by newer and faster technology. Having memories of simpler times has reminded me of the power of nostalgia. And that power is drawing me back to making my life simple again. I take more pictures now; many of which I never post but some of which I print. I write with pen and paper again. I take slower walks this year than last year so I can take in what I’m seeing and hearing. I stop and talk to my neighbors without keeping an eye on the time. And I reach out to people letting them know I’m thinking about them. My TV has spent more time in standby/off mode than ever before. I watch the clouds as they change right before my eyes. When I see a beautiful sunset, I motion over to the person next to me, point up at the sky, and say Isn’t that beautiful!?. I think it was sometime last year I posted that I’m no longer running away from my past, I’m instead running toward my future. This year, I’ve stopped running. I’m walking toward my future. The future will be there when I get to it. I have a rose to stop for and smell…hehehe