Thinking Through Writing
Green
My favorite color is green. My mind seems to always be in search of things that are green because I so easily hone in on it...hehehe Green is a symbol of life for me. That could partly be due to how things seem to come to life in the Spring. Things that were dormant throughout Winter spring to life and greens become brighter. My birthday lies on the March Equinox most years. Perhaps that is why I love Spring so much and likely why green became my favorite. It was typically associated with my birthday...hehehe
As a child, everyone knew green was my color. I didn't always wear green. But I had a lot of green things. I recall at church camp I would have a bright green sleeping bag. You know the kind. A late 80's florescent, neon-like green with black trim...hehehe I'm sure you could see it from space at night...LOL j/k I loved showing off that green sleeping bag...hehehe
There is the whole Go Green initiative the world does to help out mother earth a bit...hehehe I've never quite understood why they choose green. From space, the earth looks blue...LOL But I sure am glad they choose green. I love green! Also, who are they that come up with these things?!? LOL
Most plants have some sort of green attributes to them. I suppose that's why someone who can care for plants well are said to have a green thumb. Since I love green so much, I like that term as well...hehehe I don't actually have a green thumb, myself. I'm not good at keeping up with the care. Most plants I have ever attempted to care for ended up brown...LOL
When I wear green clothes, my eyes will turn green. The same happens when I wear blue. But we're talking about green right now...hehehe My eye color is listed as hazel. I think it is pretty cool that my eyes change color most of the time depending on what I'm wearing. They are somewhat golden when I'm wearing something other than blue or gggrrreeeeeennn...LOL
Green goes well with many others' favorite colors too! Purple, red, yellow, blue, brown, orange...Green just fits...hehehe Actually, many of those colors go well with each other too. But, again, we are talking about green...hehehe
I don't always surround myself with green, though. Sometimes, I like to have just hints of green to make those few items pop amongst the other colors. But sometimes, I love to be surrounded by green. It really depends on my mood.
Why all of this green talk? It was something I was thinking about...hehehe
Ooh! St. Patrick's day is only a few days before my birthday. Its color is green too! I love green...hehehe
God's Attributes
One of the many themes for my year has been how things either draw me closer or farther away from God. Those that draw me away, I like to cut out. Those that draw me closer, I like to lean more into. Doing my Bible in a Year reading and my daily devotional with Cherie have been Godsends. I truly feel Blessed by those things. In contrast, I had to cut out going to physical church in July because it felt as if I was being pulled away from God; which is weird and a bit scary...hehehe Doing weekly church at home virtually as made a huge difference for my heart.
While on one of my walks the other day, I had a new thought about these things that draw me closer or farther from God. The things that draw me to Him are typically something in this world. It could be something He created. Or it could be something created by people for God. Likewise, the things that draw me away are typically something in the world as well. What if I'm looking at this all wrong? The highlight words in this paragraph are how the things are of the world, with the exception of the Bible. But even the Bible is technically something written by people who were inspired by God.
It dawned on me what should be drawing me to God are His attributes. His loving kindness and goodness come to mind immediately. Who He truly is should be what draws me to Him, right?!? I'm not saying that reading the Word or doing a devotional shouldn't also draw me to Him. After all, everything should ultimately point to God...hehehe However, relying on the things of the world solely can be influenced by how I feel or what circumstances I'm facing. Whereas, relying on His attributes transcends literally everything.
God never changes. He remains the same regardless of the state of our world or the circumstances I find myself in. Since the world around me is forever in flux, I'm thinking I shouldn't be so focused on what things of the world are drawing me to or from God. If I were to be more focused on Him and His attributes, everything can point to God and nothing can draw me away. My Bible reading, devotional time, worship, and working as if working for the Lord will all be a reflection of how God draws me to Himself through Who He is. At least, that is what I was wondering that day.
It seems, up to this point, I have done all of those things in order to draw closer to Him. I don't really see that as a problem, actually. The thought that popped up in my head is that perhaps it is better to first focus on His goodness, faithfulness, loving kindness, grace, mercy, and ultimately His truth. Drawing nearer and nearer to Him because of Him. And then allow all of the things to support and reflect Who He is. In doing so, will this further prevent me from being drawn away from Him? If I'm seeking Him first, will I be able to do such things as return to physical church without it distracting me?
These are all just thoughts at this point. I really do not know why I think and feel the way I do about things. I don't feel the way I've been doing any of this is wrong. As long as I'm in a relationship with God, I'm probably doing really well. I do a lot of praying and thinking on my walks...hehehe Sometimes, it yields new and exciting paths along my journey. Other times, I end up on a tangent of nonsense...LOL The condition of my heart is what concerns me most on this journey. It hasn't always been in the best condition. I'm doing so well right now, though, that I'm exploring ways to continue to grow. That's really all this is about.
Parents
My parents will be visiting again soon. They like to come down every six months or so. Typically March and October. With my sister's wedding in May, they moved their March visit to May. For their October visit coming up, it will be the first week of the month. They are actually arriving at the end of this month on the last week. But they will remain through the end of the first week of October.
I'm grateful they come to visit. They aren't young...yet not quite old. But the journey isn't easy. They drive down from Indiana. They stay in a hotel part way down as to not overwhelm themselves. Once they arrive, they'll be staying with my sister this time.
I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, but it is actually one of the few stressful experiences I have down here...hehehe They visit for what I consider a long time. I always feel like I need to entertain them since they traveled so far. My sister and her husband cannot offer the same level of entertainment as I do because of their jobs. She and he are far less flexible than I am able to be due to that.
That said, my parents never expect me to do more than I am able to comfortably do. For me, it is a matter of trying to be a good son. I'll be taking the Tuesday off so we can all go to Disney. As for the rest of the week, I may only take off the Friday before they leave.
With the change in company, my time off allotment works out a little differently. With other plans I have between now and next July, I need to hold on to my time off a little tighter than I did with my previous employer. Some of my time off is accrued throughout the year. Whereas part of it doesn't reset until the fiscal year starts; which is July. It's a little weird and I'm still getting use to it.
One option I'm considering is taking half days off for a few of the days, with the exception of that Disney day being a full one. I can work in the morning the others and then have the rest of the day to spend with my parents. I think that will relieve some of the stress. I don't mind spending time with them. That isn't the problem. It's about making sure they are having a good time.
Well, they are grown ups...hehehe They don't need me to entertain them. They certainly don't need me to be stressing over it. They can entertain themselves while I'm working. I don't imagine my sister is stressing over this as much as I am...hehehe
I don't see them very often now that I live in Florida. My sister sees them far less. I visit Indiana a few times a year. My parents go about their lives when I visit. They don't really go out of their way to entertain me. I'm really glad for that. I never want them to feel obligated to do so. Do they feel the same about me when they visit down here?
I really should just talk to them about it. If I'm open with them about how I am feeling, I am pretty sure they'll set my mind at ease. I think my concerns are only in my own head...LOL I'm glad I wrote about it today so I could think this through...hehehe
Schedule
Well, today I sort of went back to starting my work day around 8am...LOL At least for today...hehehe Last week, I did the 9am to 6pm work week with a lunch break. But today, I felt like I needed to be logged in as close to 8am as possible. I needed to setup a meeting for sometime this week and wanted to be sure to get it scheduled quickly. It didn't need to be today. But needed to at least be scheduled.
I don't know if I'll actually go back to the 8am schedule or not. I'm not quite settled in on what I need to do for my work schedule. My sleep time is still late; which I enjoy quite a bit. My job doesn't really require a specific start time. So, I'm not really worried about this. Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately. As I've mentioned so many times...hehehe...writing helps me think these things through.
The one constant with my work schedule is that it does need to be Monday through Friday. I don't actually like that part. I'm not complaining, though. I'm grateful for my job. God provided it. I'm happy to do what I must...hehehe I'm just thinking about how nice it would be to go back to my favorite schedule from two decades ago...LOL
I once worked Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I loved that schedule. To me, it was well balanced. I never had two days off in a row without taking vacation. But I loved that. I never need two days off in a row. Plus, having Wednesday off allowed me to do errands when most people aren't out and about doing their errands as well.
At the time, my employer needed some folks to work the weekends. I worked in a call center. I volunteered for the option while others were forced. I find life to be better when I choose options. Volunteering willfully meant two things. One, I was able to choose instead of being forced. And two, that meant someone else on my team wouldn't need to be forced to work Saturday. As a result, I found the schedule to be the perfect balance.
I suppose what I could do is look at my current work schedule in a similar way. Although I need to work Monday through Friday, I can be more flexible in the hours I work those days? I could find some better balance that way. Well, maybe. The problem is that I have to play this day by day due to meetings or being available for others who may need to reach out to me.
Yeah, maybe I am more locked into my schedule than I would like...LOL 9am to 6pm is looking quite attractive right now...LOL It offers me a choice over the 8am-5pm schedule. Even if I'm not able to be more flexible than that...LOL