Praying Away the Blessing?
Despite my lack of new entries published, I have actually written quite a bit this week. I just haven’t published any of it…hehehe I have a few incomplete thoughts. And some thoughts I decided I didn’t want to share after I wrote them out. Nothing bad or anything. And I’m doing okay. It has just been one of those times when I write and write and nothing gets finished…hehehe
I’ve start using a new application to write. It allows me to work offline if my Internet connection is poor. But then it syncs up with the cloud when I’m connected. Once I am finished writing for the day, I can then publish it up on my website here. We’ll see how it goes! The main reason for looking for such an app was an issue I keep running into at my new favorite spot to eat, Zen Kitchen & Bar. They don’t provide WiFi access and my mobile signal is spotty there. I wanted something that would allow me to continue writing while I’m there without the frustrations I’ve had the few times I’ve attempted to write.
Another bonus for the app is that I can also write from my iPhone. The phone isn’t the ideal input medium. However, there have been countless times when I wish I had my iPad with me so I could write but it wasn’t with me. Being able to type a little on my phone while on the go will hopefully solve that dilemma. It will sync up and allow me to edit or finish the thought from my iPad once I get back to it. They also have a desktop version for my Mac. I think that is a separate cost. So, I may wait to see how it goes with my iPad and iPhone before I commit to the Mac version.
This app also allows me to organize my writing really well. So, it isn’t limited to just my journal. I could use it for all my writing and note taking if I so choose. I may import all of my current work, journal or otherwise, so I can have it all in one place. Anything that is ready for publication will get copied out and published.
A close friend of mine had to say goodbye to a fur baby today. My heart aches for them. I have personally lost several in my life. I know that these creatures are special and hold a special place in our hearts. They never cause us pain. They only bring us love. We miss them when they are gone and we cherish their memory for all of our lives. They are here for a short season of our life. We are in theirs for the entirety of theirs. Always missed but never forgotten.
Another close friend of mine just submitted their final audition video for their application to join the church worship team. I’m really excited for him and pray that God will direct him and the worship team in the direction He is calling them. I personally hope he gets in…hehehe I’ve had the privilege of worshiping next to him almost weekly for the past 19ish months. He has a heart for worship and I feel he belongs in worship leadership. It is definitely one of his passions.
One of my passions lately has been prayer. Prayer is a conversation with God. Sometimes it means I’m speaking. Sometimes it means I’m listening. Prayer, to me, is never about just asking God for things. I truly believe in the conversation of the act. Listening to the Voice of God isn’t so much about an audible sound in a human language I can understand. Oftentimes, it takes time in the Bible to receive the message He is trying to convey. Sometimes it is about listening to the advice of wise counsel. And when I am the one speaking, it isn’t always requests. Especially as of late, it can be me just telling God how I honestly feel about something. Sure, He knows my heart. But I feel as though He wants me to express my heart. In doing so, it helps me process those feelings. So, yes, prayer is a two way conversation between my Creator and myself.
Romans 8:26-28 AMP
In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words. And He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because the Spirit intercedes [before God] on behalf of God’s people in accordance with God’s will. [Ps 139:1, 2] And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.
This passage is an encouragement and comfort to me when I’m at a place where I just don’t know what to pray for or how to pray for it. It also reinforces the idea that prayer is a two way communication between myself and God. When I pray, even when I don’t know what to do, He guides me through His Holy Spirit.
I don’t really struggle with the idea of God not hearing my prayers. I always feel He is listening. I also don’t struggle with what the answers are when I receive His answer. I can easily accept yes, no, maybe, and not yet. My real struggle is being patient waiting for the answer. If I’m not hearing from God, I get impatient and have been known to create my own answers. Or I’ll rush something expecting a certain answer before I receive it. I struggle with the unknown. I need answers no matter what they are…hehehe
Something else I’m learning is that sometimes I’m not called to pray a specific way that is being asked of me by other people. I was recently asked by a friend to pray for his divorce. Most of what he asked was more of an attack on his soon to be ex-wife. Yeah, I’m not going to pray that way…hehehe Instead, I’ll pray for discernment for both sides and especially pray for peace for the children. In these situations, there is her story, his story, and the actual truth. And the children are always the innocent ones impacted. So the prayer is more about softening of hearts and reconciliation, even if that means just friendly relations and not restoration of the marriage.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 AMP
Because of the surpassing greatness and extraordinary nature of the revelations [which I received from God], for this reason, to keep me from thinking of myself as important, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment and harass me—to keep me from exalting myself! [Job 2:6] Concerning this I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might leave me; but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me. So I am well pleased with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, and with difficulties, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak [in human strength], then I am strong [truly able, truly powerful, truly drawing from God’s strength].
As Paul can attest to, God’s answer can be no. Sometimes we are called to endure hardship or pain for a greater purpose. God’s Grace truly is sufficient for us, even if we have our doubts. Just because we want physical healing, relationship restoration, revenge, or some divine intervention, that doesn’t mean that is what we truly need. If I were to pray with human understanding, I might actually be praying away the actual blessing God has in mind. It doesn’t really make much sense. But that’s what it seems like on the surface for most of the Bible…hehehe The meaning under the surface, however, is quite the Blessing. I’m asking God for His wisdom to help make sense of His perfect Will. He can help me know how and what to pray.
In my hand written reflection notes for my The Chosen devotion today, I talked about a thorn in my life. It’s something I have been praying about most of my adult life. It’s a prayer that hasn’t been answered yet. And the secondary part of the prayer is about taking away something that is causing me emotional pain. Yet, as I was reflecting today, I realized that if God did take that part of me away, I wouldn’t be who I am. Regardless what His answer is, I’m grateful that His Power is made perfect in my weakness. As difficult as it has been and may continue to be, God hasn’t given me anything He can’t handle (thank you Chérie for that phrasing).
James 1:2-4 AMP
Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.