Church, Self Respect, Listening

I feel fortunate to have grown up in a time when church still sang hymns. Today's modern worship is all well and good. But it all feels more like a performance these days. If that is how someone does worship, that's great. It just isn't how I worship. Hymns have done a better job of helping me express what is on my heart. Modern songs are fun and I do enjoy them. I just don't always relate to them. There are some songs today that I still connect to, though. And worship is more than just music anyway. Worship is from the heart.

I sometimes wonder what the early church was like. Did they have some sort of praise and worship music? Did they recite the Psalms? Did they have sermons? Did they collect an offering? What was that early church truly like? All rhetorical, of course. The Bible does talk a little about it. It all leads me to believe church is in our hearts. That is where God lives within us. And fellowship helps us remain engaged in a our spiritual wellbeing. It is a healthy way to live out our faith. How that looks or how it's implemented can come in many forms.

I've been out of the physical church since the first week of July. I have virtually attended a church service each Sunday since, though. I'm currently attending my parents' church through their online feed. Today, I reached out to the pastor. I'm hoping to chat with him soon about where I am at with all this and how I feel. I'm looking for God's direction. And part of that is a sense to speak with their pastor. His sermons lately have struck a chord with me in regard to what is currently going on with me spiritually and the church of today.

I had a lovely conversation with my parents. Except one major detail...LOL They still haven't spoken with my sister about her schedule to nail down what all they plan to do while here. Mom said they'll just wait until they arrive to nail it all down. Eh, uhm?!? I very politely reminded them I need to know what time off I need to schedule with my work...LOL It couldn't wait for them to arrive...LOL I'm very flexible with my schedule. But I still need to know the plan so I can keep work updated. I had to speak up so that my flexibility wouldn't be taken advantage of...hehehe I'm completely fine with whatever the plan is going to be. I'm glad I have enough respect for myself now to request their respect for my work schedule.

There was a day when I would have just passively allowed my sister and parents to take advantage of me. Their response was really good, though. They hadn't really considered my need to request time off. They decided to take care of finalizing some important plans tomorrow so I can schedule things at work. What's sad about it is that I mentioned last week that I needed to know by tonight. Apparently I didn't make that point clear enough. So, I made sure to clarify tonight. They meant no disrespect, of course. I own the confusion. And they owned up to the task to get things figured out tomorrow. Thank you, mom and dad ❤️

I didn't journal yesterday. It was an interesting day. There was a negative energy about my time at Disney. So, I decided not to journal. I felt I would end up focused on the negative. There isn't anything wrong with the negative. Balancing negative and positive is important. I just felt it would be heavy on the negative...LOL

I went to Zen for lunch yesterday, and then went to EPCOT to check out the Food and Wine Festival. Neither experience went as expected; which made me a little sad for a moment. But the drive home from Disney turned things around...hehehe My evening went really well after that. Before all of that, my morning was very pleasant. So, overall, it was a really good day. A few hours of weirdness couldn't ruin the whole day...LOL I was able to find God in everything ❤️

Today was an amazing day. It included a lot of just prayerful listening. I'm going to make this a regular practice. It seems that although I do a lot of praying, I tend to speak far more than listen. When I talk to people, I am the opposite. I'll listen far more than speak. Why don't I do that with God!? LOL Well, I suppose it could be because God's voice isn't audible. His face isn't visible, either. Communication with God is in the spiritual. Today's sermon gave me inspiration to prayerfully listen. It was amazing ❤️