Birthday, New Project, Diamond Bar, and Lamentation
Happy Birthday, Malachi!
Today is Malachi’s birthday!!! YAY!!! I personally believe that parenthood begins at conception. So I was officially a father 19 years 8 months ago…hehehe But as far as the legal definition is concerned, I became a father 19 years ago today. But that’s about me…how about Malachi?!? LOL If you noticed the 8 months part above, you’ve probably guessed that he was a tad early…hehehe His arrival was unexpected because his due date was toward the end of June. So, we had quite the eventful day, the day he arrived.
We were about 70-80 miles from our hospital that day. We had been visiting with his mom’s parents that weekend for Memorial Day. Our dog and I were sleeping in one room while she and her mother were sleeping up in her mom’s bedroom. I’m not sure where her dad was sleeping at the time…hehehe But her water broke early in the morning that day. She came down to where I was sleeping and woke me up with the announcement her water broke. We quickly jumped into action. We made sure with the doctor it was okay for her to travel all the way back home to our hospital before we started that drive. He assured us it was okay and we made our way back home.
We arrived at the hospital relatively early in the morning. I think the sun may have started to come up. So it was likely around 6:30ish in the morning. He was born just before midnight. So that made for a rather long day for his mother…hehehe Since he was coming a month early, they decided it best to keep the NICU on standby in the event his little body couldn’t function in our world without assistance. They gave us a tour of the NICU area to help calm our concerns about that. As you can imagine, the fact he was so early had us a little nervous. To be honest, the NICU tour didn’t calm us…it just made us more nervous…LOL
There were complications with his heart all day. The stress of the contractions and all paid a toll on his little body. They inserted a heart monitor so they could keep an eye on him throughout the day. When the time came for the birth, the NICU nurses arrived and the show began. Once the action started, I don’t recall it taking very long. Once he was out, the NICU nurses jumped into action to ensure he was going to recover from the experience or if they needed to rush him off to the NICU. Praise be to God, he was just fine!
He was soooo tiny. I had the honor of putting on his first diaper. It was about the size of my little paintings; maybe 4x4 inches. Basically no larger than a folded cocktail napkin. A part of the process parents go through when a child is born are a set of hormones that surge through the body. I immediately went from a nervous wreck to super proud daddy 🥹 No one can prepare you for that moment. It simply happens.
I’m grateful for my son and I’m glad I decided to be a parent. Above, I kept referring to his mother as being his mother. I stress that because, although we were married at the time, we are no longer married. But I prefer not to call her my ex-wife. That has a negative connotation that I simply do not like. By keeping her his mother in my heart, it allows me to discuss her with him without the negative emotions brought along with the tragic end of our marriage. He deserves a father who shows him how to love his mother. I cannot do that if I think of her as my ex-wife. By showing her this respect, it is my hope that he sees that example and applies it to how he feels about…his mother.
New Project
I received an interesting phone call today. The VP over my department called and began the conversation with something to the effect of I hate shooting myself in the foot like this. LOL Just yesterday, he called with the news that I’d be going to the new company. Today, he is calling me with that opening statement and then going on to explain something that the new company was asking of him…hehehe After about a paragraph words, he finally told me he was calling to ask for my help with a new project for the new company because he had over promised on a deadline later this year. He wasn’t calling to say there was an issue with my going to the new company. But that sure was running through my head at first…LOL
As before, I cannot go into the details of the project. However, I can say that I’m very excited about it! I’ll be working on a user interface for a system used during the process when customers call into our call centers. It should be fun and will deal with some technologies I use to work with 20+ years ago, early in my career; before my son was born…hehehe Those technologies have since evolved. So the most exciting part is learning about all the advancements made in the last 2 decades…hehehe Yay!!!
Return to Diamond Bar
Speaking of 20+ years ago, I’m also excited to be returning to Diamond Bar, California!!! I was there 21 years ago while doing the job when I worked with call center technology. That’s the reason I was out there, actually. One of the call centers I was responsible for was located in Diamond Bar. Back then, I was never anxious. As it was before the abuse really set in, I was enjoying every moment out in California. And now that I’ve worked through that part of the source of my anxieties, I’m so excited to be going back! Just to be clear, the abuse never happened in California. I make this connection simply to say that traveling on my own like this hasn’t been possible since shortly after that trip. It seems only fitting that God would provide the opportunity to make my first trip such as this back to the same exact location as the last time I attempted such an adventure…hehehe
The plan is starting to come together. As I mentioned yesterday, it will be the first weekend of July. On Saturday, Chérie and I are leaning toward going to the arboretum. On Friday, we are talking about possibly going to a pottery painting place. On Sunday, I plan to go to Calvary Chapel Golden Springs. I’ll likely be there on Thursday. However, that’s Independence Day. So I’m not likely to plan on doing anything specific. I may just stick around the hotel and relax. I’ll likely be exhausted from the travel and time zone change anyway. I am still unsure about meeting up with my foodie friends. It has been difficult to get any sort of commitment from them…hehehe And that is completely okay. Between visits with Chérie, family, and Disneyland, I’ll likely be out there enough to eventually land a meet up with them. It’s Judid and Syd. At least for Judid, it is difficult to nail down plans because she has a family. That’s basically the same reason I have difficulty getting with my friends here…hehehe
Just a Lamentation
On that topic, I have been lamenting over my friendships lately. I spoke with Chérie, Dan, and Kerry about it on Saturday. But it was just lamenting. My heart does ache over it. However, my spirit is full of joy. I fully recognize that the friends I have do have lives outside of our friendship. I never expect them to make time for me. What may sound like complaining is just my heart expressing pain. I’m not actually complaining that my friends haven’t been able to make time for me. I’m the single one. I have the opportunity to drop what I’m doing in a moment’s notice. I do wish I had friends nearby who could do the same. I had that in Indiana. But that’s part of the problem. I’m the one who moved away from the friends I had that with. I do not expect anyone here to be as available as I am. It is just a desire…not a demand. In fact, I’m happy for my friends here. They have wonderful lives. I do not envy those lives. I’m happy with my choice to be alone right now. And in my loneliness, God has been drawing me closer to Himself. That has been a blessing these past few months that I cannot express enough gratitude for. When those friends say no to my requests to gather, I do not hold that against them. I’m grateful for their honesty and that they have boundaries set to manage their priorities. That is very inspiring and helping me learn to set my own boundaries. Being free most of the time could lend itself to being over available, if that makes sense…hehehe
I’ve stopped searching. I’m now just waiting on the Lord. God knows what I need. He’ll supply it all in the exact moment I need it. Thank You, Heavenly Father!