Jesus is Everything!
Effort Clarification
A few days ago, I wrote about effort. I wanted to clarify something about that before I wrote today's journal entry. I was speaking about the personal choice to apply myself to whatever it was I'm putting effort into. Not to be confused with what it physically takes. The idea came to mind while I was jogging. Over the weekend, I got to thinking about how it may have sounded like I was referring to pushing myself physically to run faster or harder than the day before. I was not. I was referring to the condition of my heart and mind. It was more a matter of spiritual and mental health than it was my physical. I somewhat think my messages about last year and my health journey come across about the physical aspects. Honestly, I'm typically speaking more about the spiritual and mental. The physical is impacted by the other two, and vice versa. It is all a dance of balancing the three. However, in the context of effort as it applied the other day, the effort on my mind each day is how much of myself I put into what I'm doing. Instead of simply going through the motions, I want to apply the core of who I am. That's what makes it all worth the effort for me. I hope that answers more questions than it creates...hehehe
Jesus is Everything!
I started to write about this the other day and ended up removing it. I then talked about it with my parents briefly last night. I told them I had a rough week last week. They assumed and then asked if it was work related. I said no and told them work has actually been going well. The rough part was losing friends. I'm not going to drag it out here. I'm just going to express that it was painful and I'm moving forward. God had prepared me before it happened. In fact, it was a great reminder that He doesn't just provide me with food, drink, clothing, and shelter. He also provides guidance, peace, comfort, and love. Jesus is everything!
The confusion about what I consider rough also reminded me about how confused some folks were when I told them last year was the toughest year of my life. And that was despite the years of trauma I experienced...hehehe People saw me thrive last year as I embarked on a health journey that has shown some amazing results. What I seem to have missed explaining is how that health journey was far more than physical health. The physical health was just a positive consequence of everything else I worked on. Even the physical aspect required a great deal of mental power to overcome the physical challenges. And I couldn't have done either without working on my spiritual health as well. None of it was just about getting up each day and putting in effort toward bettering myself. It required me to face everything. I had to face my sin. I had to face my past trauma. I had to face the damage I had done to my body. And I faced it all because I was done feeling bad all the time. I felt bad mentally, spiritually, and physically. I started with small, sustainable changes. Those small changes became habits. And the habits became changes in my lifestyle. But the big picture here is that I faced all of that all at once. That was incredibly difficult to do. Reliving past trauma, making drastic diet and physical activity changes, and rewiring the way I think took its toll on me. But it was all worth it. And none of that would have been possible without Jesus. Jesus is everything!
At the end of 2023, I figuratively spoke to my start of 2023 self thanking him for beginning that journey. At the beginning of 2023, I told myself that someday I would thank myself...hehehe I'm glad I followed through with thanking myself...because 2024 Greg is doing really well with the circumstances he is facing...hehehe All of that required me to give myself over fully to Jesus. That was not easy. But it does get a little easier each day. Like I had said the other day, putting in a little more effort today than I did yesterday will make it easier to put in that effort tomorrow. 18 months later and I can say with full confidence that it is working...I'm growing. I'm most ambitious about my personal growth. Learning from my circumstances is one of the most important aspects of my journey. Over the weekend I was thinking about legacy...mine in particular. I've decided I do not want to be remembered by name in any way. I don't want to be remembered by accomplishments of any kind. My name and what I do aren't important. The legacy I want to leave is growth. I want to grow personally and inspire others to do the same. That's it. And how do I grow? I grow with Jesus. Jesus is everything!
A few messages I received today reassured me that I'm on track with that very goal on my legacy. One friend said, You are a blessing...Your love for life is infectious. While another said, Hubby and I are making a lot of changes [too] and definitely feeling better! [You're] always an inspiration so thank you!! A third was, Your transformation has been so inspiring. And a forth, You are inspiring me. I'm recovering from betrayal trauma and your book and posts have been helpful. Thank you! These messages are quite the opposite of those I use to listen to from my abusers. What began last year as me trying to change who I was as that awful person I was being told I was, became a realization this year that I was never what I had been told before. The messages I hear today sound more like who God created me to be. I was never actually that worthless garbage in the narrative I had been told. Last year, God picked me up out of the landfill I had been tossed into, dusted me off, and redeemed who I am. And this year, He has shown me who that is. I am loved, I am wanted, and I am chosen. I am His. And He wants me to share my story to help inspire others. He wants me to be Jesus in the world. Jesus is everything!
I feel really good about where I am mentally, spiritually, and physically. The effort I put in 18 months ago has had a snowball effect ever since. The progress was small and gradual at first. There were some discouraging setbacks along the way. But God always reminded me that I'm a work in progress, making progress. And this year He further taught me that His process is far greater than my progress. I often get nervous about sharing my journey with others. I don't really like the attention it sometimes receives. I also never want anyone to feel like I'm preachy about my journey thinking I'm telling anyone how to live their lives. We each have our own journey's, after all. But when others tell me I'm an inspiration, I can't help but believe that I am meant to share the journey I'm on. When I look back on all I've said, I have not once told anyone how they should think or live their lives. I simply talk about how I am living and sharing the progress. My Vitamin G is always about what it is I do or say that helps me on my journey. If it helps them, that's great. But I never tell someone what it is they should do with it. I'll invite others to join me. Just an invitation, though. Only they can live out their journeys. I cannot live it for them. And their progress is their own. I never want anyone to feel discouraged that their progress doesn't match my own. Again, it isn't about the progress. It's all about Jesus' process and I know they'll get where He is taking them just as He has with me. Jesus is everything!
Diet and Sleep Update
A funny thing happened...hehehe When I travel, I typically gain at least a little weight. Especially now that I'm down to the ideal weight for my age and body type. When I travel, my physical activity doesn't necessarily increase, but my food consumption does. I don't take home leftovers when I'm eating out while traveling because I don't have a convenient way to reheat things as needed. So I'll often clear my plate at the restaurant. The portions are typically double or triple what I would want to eat. I suppose my trip to California was a bit of an exception, though. I actually did increase my physical activity and I didn't eat as many meals as I normally would. Well, I ended up losing weight...LOL Even with my diet change back to eating meat upon my return, I continued to lose weight. I've stabilized it again by increasing my consumption and I'm now sitting at 159 lbs. Prior to my trip, I was stable at 165. The lowest I ever want to be is 150-155. Being at 159 now has me keeping a close eye on it...hehehe This morning, my physical health tracker celebrated and revealed that I now have the body of a 45 year old...LOL When I began my journey 18 months ago, it told me I had the body of a 56 year old. The closer I got to my birthday at the age of 46 this year, I was finally at the correct body age...hehehe 3 months later, I'm now younger than what I actually am...LOL Of course, that doesn't really matter. What matters is that I went from my body telling me it was dying to now telling me it is thriving. I went from counting calories to lose weight to now counting them to make sure I maintain it...hehehe Yeah, that's a good feeling!
For my sleep schedule, I've gradually moved my asleep time to midnight. For the entire month of June, I worked my way to an asleep time of 1:30am to prepare my mind and body for Pacific time. That worked out fantastically. I had no trouble adjusting to the time zone and went to sleep at midnight each night while there. Upon my return, that meant I was fine when I got home and had no trouble being alert driving from the airport. I didn't sleep well the rest of the week because of the slight anxiety caused by the aforementioned loss of friends. That's actually why I decided to readjust to midnight instead of keeping with 1:30am like I had hoped I could maintain. As of last night, I'm sleeping well again. That minor anxiety has pretty much resolved itself. And I'm sleeping through the night again. An outsider might look at this and attribute it to jet lag. Knowing my body and mind, I would disagree. But I am not really an expert. I just know how I feel. It feels all about the loss of friends. This same thing occurs almost every time something like that happens. So it doesn't feel directly related to travel. Not that I really know what I'm talking about in general. I just know me...hehehe I may go back to the 1:30am schedule by the end of this week, perhaps. Or, if I can get the same results going to sleep at midnight as I do at 1:30, I'm okay with that. The times aren't as important as how my brain works. It was working more efficiently sleeping from 1:30 to 7:30 than it did on any other schedule I've kept since I started sleeping like a normal person in the last quarter of 2021...hehehe Normal as in being able to sleep at all...LOL I think I mentioned it before, but from like 1989 through 2021, I didn't sleep much...LOL
Allergies
This is trivial, but I want to make a note about my allergies. I've been taking medication for them for years. In Indiana, it was seasonal. In Florida, it has been every single day. For me, there hasn't been a season for allergies here...LOL I had read that if you eat a tablespoon of local raw honey every day, you no longer suffer allergies and no longer need the medication. So I've been adding the honey to my coffee every morning for a bit. I then decided to wait to test myself without medication until after my California trip. I've been home for a week now and today was the day I did not take any medication. I plan to document this experience in the coming weeks. Probably not every day. But as often as I think about it maybe. It will be good to have that to look back upon if I discover the honey doesn't work. But if it does work, then I'll officially be off of all medications I use to take. These allergies medications are the last of the cocktail I use to need in order to function...hehehe Another milestone on this health journey! *fingers crossed*
First update: I'm feeling just fine today...hehehe
The Chosen Devotional
We are in book 3 of The Chosen devotional series as of today. I've participated in devotionals and Bible studies countless times over the years. Bible studies are different and out of context for what I'm about to say. The studies go in depth and are a great way to understand the Word. But in terms of devotionals, these The Chosen books are the most thought provoking I have ever done. They aren't about diving deep into the Word itself. But they do provide a perspective on Jesus that I've just never quite seen before. We've been engaged in devotionals for 121 days now. The first 40 days were a good way to get started. But then God guided us to this series. These past 81 days have been a journey with Jesus! And that's the inspiration behind the focus of the Jesus is Everything section above. Experiencing Jesus in this new way helps me apply Jesus to everything!
Church
Although I still virtually attended CCGS yesterday, I virtually attended a new (to me) church before that. I checked out New Day Christian Church out of Port Charlotte, FL. My friend Dan and his family attend there now. It was a little different than I'm use to, in a good way. The music was familiar. The message was amazing and something directly related to some of the things I'm dealing with right now. It always amazes me when God provides exactly what we need when we need it. That's what inspired my above statement that He doesn't just provide [us] with food, drink, clothing, and shelter. He also provides guidance, peace, comfort, and love. I hope I'm always amazed by these things. I never want to lose that childlike wonder about Jesus! Jesus is everything!