Change of Heart
Happy Valentines Day
One of the most difficult phrases for me is Happy Valentines Day. Yes, it's true! I hold so much value in the day that it physically hurts me on the years that I'm single. And it hurts even more now than ever before. My heart has been broken so many times now that I almost want to curl up and sleep this day off now. That was, until this year...
I have spent so many years hating myself. But over the course of this past year, I'm learning to love myself for the first time. I'm learning to put more value in who God says I am versus who others say I am. And you know what, I'm starting to hear that there are others who also love who I am. When I focused on what I hated about myself, all I could hear is what others also hated about me. By changing the focus on what God loves about me, I can now see and hear what He and others love about me. That's pretty cool!
Although I have grown this past year mentally, I was still dreading today. My broken heart did not seem ready for this annual reminder that I am lonely at times. I'm actually okay with being single and lonely at times. I just don't like the reminder...hehehe I recall about a month ago that Etsy sent me an email asking if I'd like to turn off their emails about Valentines Day...LOL I of course agreed that I did not want their reminders. But so many other places kept reminding me of this love-based Hallmark holiday...hehehe
As the day approached, I had a change of heart. I wanted to stop looking at the day as Single's Awareness Day and start to embrace the day as a day of love. Not necessarily love for another person. Just love. God is love! I love my family! I love many of my friends! And, like I said, I'm learning to love me!
I woke up today not expecting to say Happy Valentines Day to anyone besides the few in my family, such as my son. I hadn't said it to anyone else in quite a while. And having dread for the day, I didn't want to. However, since my heart has been changing as of late, I woke up with the overwhelming feeling to tell someone Happy Valentines Day. And only one person came to mind. So I told her...
She has been a blessing and has represented God in my life this past year. She not only prays for me, she also reaches out to me just when I need to hear the right thing in my moments I need to hear what God has to say. She is a deer friend to me and I'm grateful God has allowed our paths to cross. I have no idea how long I'll have her in my life. But I will enjoy the time God wills for us to have while we have it.
The Most Important Word in the Bible
Continuing the book Your One Life, chapter 4 begins to discuss what my purpose is. Like most people, I do often wonder what my purpose is. I'm no different that anyone else in that regard. But I am unique. No one else is quite like me. But why am I me?
You didn't create yourself, so there is no way you can tell yourself what you were created for.
~ Rick Warren
My purpose comes down to God's Glory. Of all the words in the Bible, Glory is the most important word. Everything that has happened, is happening, and will ever happen comes down to what I can do to bring Him His Glory. How I do that is just about the details. The reflection questions at the end of the chapter weren't hard ones this time. They are real thinkers!
Take a few moments to reflect back on the story fo how you came to Christ.
I grew up in the church. I did all of the things I was supposed to do to come to Christ. I can't say I really understood what I was doing. I was a child. It wasn't until December 24, 1998 I finally, and actually, accepted Jesus as my Savior. I remember where I was and what I was doing. The room where it happened likely still exists. It would be kind of cool to go back there someday!In your own words, describe what it means for you to live for God's Glory. How does that impact choices you make and how you live?
Every decision I make needs to lead to God. Even in my mistakes, I can find God. The right choices seem more obvious in terms of Glorifying God. But I'm learning that I can still find His Glory by learning from my bad choices. In doing so, I can begin to accept God's Will for my life instead of my own will. Or another way to say it is that I can begin to focus my will on His Will. That's going to take a lot more Bible study! heheheSecond Corinthians 3:18 says we "are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (NIV). What are some ways that God is working in you and changing you?
- Helping me seek Him first
- Helping me set boundaries
- Looking for and chasing after God in all circumstances
If you really made the conscious decision to live for God's glory, how might that change some things in your life?
It can change the trajectory of my future...- Where I live
- Where I work
- How I handle people (how I react, how I love, how I set boundaries)
These answer are my raw response to the questions. And like most things, so much easier said than done! I hope to grow into the person God needs me to be. I hope to grow into the person everyone needs me to be. I hope to grow into the person I need to be.
Run?
Today's run was incredibly tough for me. I should probably start logging everything to better understand why some days I just can't seem to get the workout I am hoping for.
However, I was not disappointed. I ran for a tough mile. I then walked for an easy mile. I wrapped up the workout with a much easier run for the final mile.
I think part of my problem was the cold air I was breathing in. The temperature wasn't too cold. But the ocean air on days like this seems to cool faster in my lungs I think.